I had been deliberating about a holiday decision for a long time, going backwards and forwards over different scenarios in my mind. I pondered, talked to friends, did a bit of research, but still couldn’t decide what I wanted to do.
There are many reasons why a decision could be difficult. In general, I struggle with personal decisions. I suspect I don’t like the finality of them. I prefer to keep my options open.
I also like to analyse everything. I want to have all the information. But I know I use information-seeking to procrastinate.
Unexamined emotions are often to blame too. This holiday decision was particularly difficult because it meant moving away from traditions to a new destination with my kids. It marked the end of an era, which was hard to come to terms with. I loved our traditions and have fond memories of our beach holidays.
I knew all this but still couldn’t decide on an alternative. It was only when I sat down last weekend, with a cup of tea, and started doing in-depth research that the solution came to mind. I was clear on what I needed and wanted: a solid block of time with my kids, and deep rest for myself. It’s only August, and this year has already demanded a lot from us.
It was that time - working through holiday destinations, weighing up alternatives, deliberating over budget constraints - that gave me clarity. The actual work of sorting through the details presented the viable alternative. By the end of the morning, I had booked the holiday, paid the deposit, and laid the decision to rest.
I see this with my clients too. They often come to us confused, uncertain about a decision. Yet it’s frequently the diligent work of sorting through the alternatives that brings the best choice into focus. Clarity emerges from the process itself.
I find it fascinating that we will mull over decisions, ruminate, or procrastinate - while all the while it pains us. We allow it to fester. Yet we resist making the time to decide or doing the work to reach a truly informed decision. I understand this is part of procrastination - the avoidance of the finality.
But many decisions can be changed. In my case, I found an option with a suitable cancellation clause, because adult children may have their own holiday plans.
Perhaps you too are mulling over a decision, big or small. If so, make the time, do the work and decide. It’s worth it – for the clarity, and for the peace of mind that follows.
I’ll also be taking a short break from blogging over the next few weeks to focus on finishing a book. Looking forward to returning with fresh insights once that’s wrapped up!
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Kind regards,
Sunél